Nanie

Fifteen years ago today, I lost my beloved grandmother. My mom’s mom Esther, or Nanie as we called her, was very special to me. 


This is one of my favorite pictures of her … 

One of my earliest memories as a child is of sitting on the floor under the kitchen table at their house in Queens while she cooked…

She made the best rice and beans, roast pork, and rellenos de papa I think I’ve ever had in my life … 

She loved The Price Is Right…

She would often curse in Spanish and shake her fist at the TV while watching Mets games…

I can still remember the way her wrinkly skin felt when she would hold your hand…

When she would stay overnight at our house, she’d have to stay in my room because I had a fold-away bed.  She would lie there giggling for several minutes — and this was after taking her dentures out — because she was cold…  

I think of her whenever I see her wedding ring on my mom’s finger… 

She was in my dream a few weeks ago, and in it we gave each other a huge hug. I woke up to the sound of a picture message from my Mom — a shot of what she calls “The Nanie Plant” in full bloom in their front yard… 

I miss her every day…

When she passed away, I was 14 and away at volleyball camp. I never really got the chance to say goodbye. I’ve never fully recovered.