I recently realized that I've been suffering from anxiety. I've been having these horrible, debilitating panic attacks.
It often starts when I am about to leave for work in the morning. Apparently, there is something about traveling or transportation that makes me very nervous. Before long car trips, I am a nervous wreck. And it always creeps up on me when I have to travel by plane. I almost could not get on the plane for my own honeymoon.
What happens to me is that:
1) My stomach will just start churning with this uneasy feeling.
2) My heart will start to race a little bit.
3) These crazy thoughts will start to go through my head - what if I don't make it to where I need to get to?
4) My breathing gets really heavy.
5) My mouth gets very dry.
6) Inevitably, I'll have to run to the nearest bathroom. If you've ever just pressed your face up against the cold tiles on the bathroom wall, then you know the feeling.
7) Sometimes, it brings me to tears. I mean an ugly cry.
8) If it gets bad enough, I can't bring myself to leave my apartment.
9) Sometimes it takes me an hour just to calm down.
10) When it passes -- like a violent storm -- I'm left sitting there emotionally raw.
I've even started to talk to a professional about it. But I wanted to share it with y'all here in the hopes that maybe there are other people out there who are suffering from the same thing or something similar. Maybe this post will make you feel less alone.
Have you ever had a panic attack?
PS - over the weekend, I'll share some of the things that have helped me manage my anxiety.